I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
