What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
