She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
