I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
