Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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