New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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