Dual....:-)
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
