so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
