our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
