two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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