Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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