I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Even my vagina gasped.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
