Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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