Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
