I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
