I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
