I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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