What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
