You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
