rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
