Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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