I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
