belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
