Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
