Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
