I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
