I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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