I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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