Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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