I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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