I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
