Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
