im drinking this country out of the recession.
if only i could text you this smell
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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