In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
