so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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