Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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