You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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