i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
