I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
