My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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