Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
