dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
