My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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