he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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