Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
