new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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