I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
