I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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