More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
