i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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